END OF BUMDUGGERY (sic)

After enjoying slightly over a month of living on the dole, we are back to being productive adults here on earth. Or as some (dbags) call it, citizens of the world.

My total bad ass husband (PTST) has obtained a new job doing the same thing as before–working with computers. I have given up retirement and rejoined the work force in a new field–unloading the delivery truck at TJ Maxx. We spent our down time in meditation and reflection, focusing on making ourselves better people. Yeah, no. We went to Greece. Because that’s what all fiscally responsible people do when they are jobless.

Having enjoyed a year of living a life of leisure, I found I missed working. Not the 60+ hour weeks of “doing a deep dive” or the working weekends and nights because “this has been escalated to VP level” (what the manager hears: this is very important and must be done right away; what the engineer hears: this goes right to the bottom of my To Do list), and certainly not the ‘’we’ve come a long way, got a long way to go’’ team meetings; but once all the projects I listed out to do around the house were done–or at least the ones I will ever actually do–I missed being gainfully employed. At the end of the day, there were only so many times I could walk the dog around the block, only so many flowers I could plant, only so many trips to Walmart I could make, only so many conversations about the dire road situation I could have with the neighbors. I had to admit I am one of those weirdos who actually like to work.

So when I saw the sign at TJ Maxx seeking employees to work 20-25 hours per week in the supply room, it seemed like a perfect fit. And there you have it; how hard could that be?  Well, let me tell ya…

4:30 in the morning is an ungodly hour; even the dog refuses to wake up at that time. Fortunately after two weeks, I have shaved 15 minutes off my morning routine and can now lay up in bed until 4:45. Also fortunately for me, deer apparently never sleep. So there are plenty of them to guide me to work by darting, or meandering, directly in front of my car as I drive.

Here’s something: when you spend your entire career sitting in front of a computer, your body does not care to stand up for five straight hours, much less spend those five hours unpacking boxes and sorting clothes. My body has expressed this displeasure in numerous ways, most obviously by head to toe pain. My finger muscles are sore. Who knew that was even possible? Liberace, that’s who. He was genius.   Anyways, I expected tired legs and feet, exhausted fingertips not so much.

In happy news, I am pleased—and shocked– I have been advised my lunch can be placed in the refrigerator without fear of having it stolen, as long as my name is on it. If this turns out to be true (I remain doubtful), it will be the first time in all my many, many, many, many break room experiences in which my Diet Coke does not go missing before I have the chance to swill it down.

In unhappy news, I have learned that people steal crap. And I mean that literally. I have found evidence of people stealing an $8 Iphone cases and $4 earrings. Really? Is it really worth burning in hell for a pair of earrings that is going to turn your lobes green? Do you really think your Iphone needs a case to protect it from the flames of Hades so you hear Satan static-free when he calls you to stoke the fires? If so, might I refer you to the fine, fine Nicolas Cage vehicle of 2000, The Family Man; to quote Cash, “Character. And for what, for nine bucks? That’s just so disappointing.”

Body pain and the evidence of the demise of morality aside, I am enjoying being back to work. At least today. We will see what happens tomorrow when I have to crawl out of bed before the birds…

Next up: Greece is… fine.

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3 thoughts on “END OF BUMDUGGERY (sic)

  1. I heard about people retiring, and then getting a crazy eager to go back to work, I just didn’t know any. Well, now I do. I was hoping you and I could spend our senior years together traveling through cyber space. But noooo, you’d rather travel to Greece and go back to work. More power to you my friend. As for me, I’m staying status quo, (retired)

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