CHRISTMAS

What I hate:

  1. Christmas trees beside Halloween candy at Sam’s Club in mid-October;
  2. “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” blasting at volume 20 in every store I enter;
  3. Fruitcake.  (How can two things as delightful as liquor and cake go so horribly wrong when combined?);
  4. Family guilt for not participating in the festivities;
  5. Salvation Army guilt for not having any low bills to put in the bucket and refusing to part with a twenty;
  6. Thermostats set to 80 degrees;
  7. The debate about whether or not to say Merry Christmas. Just say it already; no one really cares.  (File under: too much time on your hands);
  8. Crazy neighbors complaining about the mailman putting mail in the wrong box. (File under:  First world problems);
  9. Glitter.  Everywhere.;
  10. Office Parties – holiday and otherwise.

What I love:

  1.  Cookies.

Don’t get me wrong; I embrace the Christian desire to celebrate the birth of their Lord.  I enjoy a holiday and the reason for the season (read:  time off from work).  I love to have a visit and a nice big meal, hence my designation of Thanksgiving as the best holiday ever.  What I do not enjoy is full-grown adults buying gifts for other full-grown adults as a requirement for Christmas.  In addition, I find no joy in searching for ‘’the perfect gift for the man/woman who has everything.”  Why the hell are we giving more crap to people who have everything? (File under:  RPP—Rich People Problems).  And why the hell do I have to pretend to be happy to get crap I don’t want in order to meet someone else’s requirement of what Christmas should be?

I’m definitely over-thinking this; I should have a cookie.  Merry Christmas, Everyone!

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